bonus
Breaking news! My big podcast change...
Something's shifted in my podcast journey while recording "Different, not Broken" for half a year now.
I didn't see it coming.
Question is, did YOU?
Transcript
So this is like a little bit meta, because I'm gonna talk about the podcast while we're recording the podcast.
Speaker A:Don't let it blow your mind too hard, guys.
Speaker A:But people are listening to this, and I don't understand why.
Speaker A:I'm just gonna be really upfront about that.
Speaker A:This is very meta.
Speaker A:This is a podcast recording about the podcast, and that's, like, very confusing.
Speaker A:But I need you to know that I do my best not to check our metrics that often, because I don't know if you know this, but I'm like, a tiny bit obsessive and I have a few control issues, like just a couple hundred.
Speaker A:And so when I start looking at numbers, I start, like, counting in my head and I do all this math in my head to try to figure out, like, how many listeners is that per day, per hour, per minute?
Speaker A:Like, it's like a whole thing that my brain does.
Speaker A:So when we very first started, I was checking a lot because that was like, the basis of my self esteem.
Speaker A:And then as we got further and further into it, I stopped checking as much.
Speaker A:And then I would go, like, probably an entire month without checking, which is really impressive and good because it's not gonna stop me from talking like, I'm still gonna talk like.
Speaker A:It's just somebody gave me a microphone, I gave me a microphone, somebody gave me a microphone, and nobody has told me to shut up yet.
Speaker A:So, like, I'm enjoying this, and I can't believe that is true, but I am enjoying it.
Speaker A:So I did check a little bit over the summer, and the numbers are kind of down.
Speaker A:But supposedly, according to our producer, that's like, normal, Which I don't know if that's true or if he was just trying to make me feel better about myself.
Speaker A:Parque no los dos.
Speaker A:Then I checked again last week, and we were number 47 on the mental health charts, and we had had like 6,000 downloads in a very short amount of time.
Speaker A:That means that people are listening to this.
Speaker A:And I was struck with a very, very distinct feeling that I have no fucking idea why, because, like, if I had to listen to me all the time, and mind you, I do, because I have ears and I say things a lot, and I even talk to myself when I'm by myself.
Speaker A:That's a whole nother thing.
Speaker A:This is not something that I would opt in for.
Speaker A:And yet people are 35,000 of you, to be exact.
Speaker A:I have a podcast.
Speaker A:I don't know anything about podcasting.
Speaker A:I don't know what makes a successful podcast I don't know what numbers matter.
Speaker A:I don't know any of this.
Speaker A:I only know what my producer tells me, most of which I assume are lies to make me feel good about myself.
Speaker A:So I don't know if any of this is doing well I.
Speaker A:Or compared to anybody else, which is probably a good thing, because the second you give me something to compare to, I'm gonna find a way to beat myself up over it, because brains are fun.
Speaker A:They're a delight.
Speaker A:All that to say we are, like, I don't know, six months into this process.
Speaker A:We haven't been publishing for six months, but I think we've been working on this for six months.
Speaker A:It's been an idea for, like, years.
Speaker A:But we've been actively working on this just about every week for six months.
Speaker A:And some of you are still here.
Speaker A:And I really appreciate that as much as if you come up to me in public, which I won't give you a lot of opportunity for it, because shoes and pants, no thanks.
Speaker A:But if you were to come up to me in public and say, I listen to your podcast, I would want to melt into the wall and die.
Speaker A:I would look for the nearest exit and be mortified, because the Internet is for strangers.
Speaker A:It is not for people.
Speaker A:You know, anytime somebody I know tells me that they engage with something I do on the Internet, I am immediately, absolutely horrified.
Speaker A:But thousands of strangers, no problem.
Speaker A:Oh, you want me to get up on a stage and talk to a bunch of people I don't know without any preparation?
Speaker A:No problem.
Speaker A:Show me the way.
Speaker A:Hey, these people who care about you deeply would like to talk to you for a few minutes by yourself.
Speaker A:Nope.
Speaker A:No, thank you.
Speaker A:That is uncomfortable.
Speaker A:I do not enjoy it.
Speaker A:Anyway, so some of you are here.
Speaker A:I guess many of you are here, because if you're here, you're here.
Speaker A:If you're not here, you're not listening.
Speaker A:So you're here.
Speaker A:And I appreciate that.
Speaker A:And I thought that at six months into the process, I would understand this a little bit more.
Speaker A:I would have a better sense of why people are here and why people like what we're doing.
Speaker A:I do not.
Speaker A:It is not better.
Speaker A:The only thing that has changed is that I have recognized and acknowledged that I actually like doing this.
Speaker A:And I'm not mortified by the act of doing it like I was when we first started.
Speaker A:But I am deeply confused as to why anyone is sticking around.
Speaker A:So if you have.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:If you're new here, we're gonna get into some more shit soon, so thank you.
Speaker A:And if there's anything you want, like, anything you wanna hear, any guests you wanna see, any.
Speaker A:Anything, like, reach out, let us know.
Speaker A:Because I am open to ideas.
Speaker A:I'm open to just about anything other than shoes and pants.
Speaker A:I'll wear soft pants.
Speaker A:Hard pants are a no go.
Speaker A:I'm open to anything.
Speaker A:I can't believe it's been as long as it has.
Speaker A:And I can't believe there are actually people who are still here.
Speaker A:And I can't believe we're finding new people.
Speaker A:Like, we have not maxed out on the number of people who do not find me irritating.
Speaker A:And I really thought that number was like seven.
Speaker A:So unless all of you are hate listening, that's fine.
Speaker A:Thanks.
Speaker A:Thanks.
Speaker A:I appreciate you being here.
Speaker A:And reach out because we want to hear from you.
Speaker A:Let me mean it.
